Oct 20, 2013
No belt. No problem. Except for the unsolicited nagging by the menacing, middle age grouch stationed two cubes over. The guy with the perpetual coffee stain swimming in his shirt pocket. The same guy preoccupied with your metabolism and befuddled by your choice in ties. He still can't over the fact you prefer your ties knitted. But what he doesn't realize is that he's fortunate you don't straddle your chinos with a leather belt because he's about 2 comments away from you channeling a dear old dad moment where you preface your actions with the statement: THIS IS GOING TO HURT ME A LOT MORE THAN IT'S GOING TO HURT YOU.
Jul 24, 2013
All good things in moderation my son, because if you're not careful, the new smash hit by Drake and Migos will have you running up into Rosewood Mansion on Turtle Creek looking like a Verzombie, foaming at the mouth, grunting and yelling at the wait staff for not being keen to the fact that you only eat off of Versace plates. You know who you are. You're the same guy who Plato Closeted all your girls notable brands when Kreayshawn dropped Gucci, Gucci. You hear a lyric and You make it a lifestyle.
But enough about him, let's talk about how a "little" dash of Versace will bring out your inner Corleone. We laid out three accessories above that we love. Remember, moderation is key so keep your in store purchase limited to one item because there is fashionable, and then there is fan boy.
Jun 9, 2013
Bury your camo. March out to your backyard. Right Now. And bury every last piece of camo you own. Every t-shirt. Every snapback. All 5 pairs of camo cargo shorts in assorted colors. Your camo hoodie and your camo key chain.
The ubiquitous influx of camo stops now. It's insanity. The whole point of wearing camo is to go unnoticed (hence the term camoflauged), but ask yourself, how can I possibly go unnoticed when I'm dressed like every other guy at North Park or Whole Foods or insert any location a man in Dallas might frequent this summer. Or maybe that was the plan all along. You thought to yourself, "What if I dressed like every other man I encounter this summer, then no one will notice me." Either way you spin it, it's madness.
We get it. You got a free pair of camo shorts with your hypebeast starter kit, but they got you looking real thirsty. When you're at Macy's decked out in all camo, harassing the store manager about when they're expecting a new shipment of camo in in your size, that means its time for an intervention. We couldn't be more embarrased for you.
Here at TheCulpr.it we rarely rant, but it hurts us to see you grotesquesly violate the laws of menswear. So please, we're begging you. Bury the camo. Better yet. Burn it.
Mar 30, 2013
Earlier this month, Nate Robinson surprised sneakerheads everywhere, stunting on the San Antonio Spurs in Air Yeezy 2's. How epic would if during today's game, the Mavs laced up and wore some of the most sought after sneakers designed in the past two decades.
Legend has it, Shawn Kemp snatched dollar bills off backboards on the regular back in his hey day. As a result, Reebok commisioned the "Kamikazes" for Kemp, to embody his vulgar disregard for gravity. So who better to pay homage to hops like those than Mr. Half Man/Half Amazing, Vince Carter.
Next to the Jordan and Mars commercials, Penny and Lil Penny garner a close second. And not only did Penny launch some 30 second television gold, he orchestrated some dope drops. We would love to see Mr. Mayo drop 30 in a pair of Penny's.
Peep Cunningham's Instagram feed, and you'll learn firstand that Cunningham's copped mounds of Foamposites. We believe Cunningham to be the future of the Mavs backcourt and as the future first line of defense against the galaxies most vile ballers, the Galaxy Foamposite is definitely the sneaker for the job.
These shoes weren't made for parking lot Pippen. They were made to hoop in. And even if you have only managed to secure nosebleed seats, these sneakers resound with the true Nike bravado that rings to the rooftops.
Did you really think we'd exclude a pair of J's? the pinnacle/zenith/apex of shoemanship.
A true boss needs a shoe that is metaphysically dope in the past, present, and future. It's comforting to know that if these elusive sneakers ever landed in El Hefe's hands, he'd hire a team of German engineers to equip his mags with authentic lace up technology.